Fate has intervened to meaningfully raise the stakes of my seemingly zany mission. I learned I may have skin cancer on Monday. On Tuesday, I learned that I have high blood pressure, my cholesterol is quite high, and that I am pre-diabetic. Allow me to elaborate.
I arrived right on time for my Dermatologist appointment on Monday because it took me twelve minutes to locate a parking spot. As I approached the receptionist’s window, I noticed a rather large sign advertising a drug of some sort. I thought to myself, “No… Really??? Is that what I think it is? A billboard advertising a drug in a doctor’s waiting area? No, it can’t be!” Sure enough, it was.
As I sat down to fill out the typical paperwork, deep in thought regarding the implications of advertising in a doctor’s waiting area, a slick looking man in a suit walked in and announced himself as a drug rep. He was immediately welcomed in to meet with the doctor while about six patients remained incarcerated in the waiting room.
I continued filling out my paperwork and forced myself to take a few deep breathes so that I would not get worked up about the billboard and the drug rep.
I had not been waiting for more than ten minutes when yet another slick looking guy in a suit walked in and announced himself to the receptionist. The receptionist apologetically informed him that he would have to wait a few minutes because the doctor was already meeting with a drug rep at that very moment. I thought to myself, “No way! This cannot be happening!”
A few minutes later, one drug rep exited, and the next one entered, while the paying patients continued to wait. I reminded myself, “Don’t be like Costanza. Don’t be like Costanza,” and used the breathing exercise on my Fitbit. Before the second drug rep left, I was invited behind the wall and into an exam room.
I explained to the nurse and doctor that I was there for a rash (I had eczema on my hand from playing tennis) and to have my moles checked. He prescribed me a lotion for my hand and generously gave me a bunch of refills, so that I would not have to return to see him should the problem reemerge.
He then asked me to remove my shirt. I must admit that I was a little embarrassed with the nurse there because I had gained at least ten pounds in the last month and was feeling like a Piggly Wiggly. I believe my apprehension was self-evident and I am practically convinced the nurse smirked at my jelly belly. Regardless, the doctor began inspecting my body. After a few moments, he said that I had two “irregular” moles that he wished to excise and have tested because they may be cancerous. He said he did not think they are cancerous, but it is better to be safe than sorry with these types of things.
I said, “Fine, proceed, but I mustn’t see any needles, blood, or the scalpel.”
Both the doctor and nurse assured me they could fulfill my request and that I would hardly feel a thing. While the nurse was taking a few photos of my “irregular moles”, the doctor said, “Time to make some money.” His comment made me cringe in horror.
I do not want readers to think I have an axe to grind with doctors, though it may seem that way based upon my first few blogs. I actually liked this doctor very much, will return to him, and would recommend him. I respect the education, hard work, long hours, and expertise of doctors universally. I believe the system in which they operate, the healthcare system, is fundamentally egregiously flawed. Most people, doctors especially, suffer with only the few truly benefiting from such a broken system.
The procedure was painless and while I am eager for this phone call to know one way or the other if I have cancer, I am not as twisted up about it as I might have expected.
I went to my general practitioner on Tuesday directly from work. I must have been the last appointment because nobody was in the waiting room and I was invited in to see the doctor immediately upon arrival. I was directed towards the office of a woman doctor whom I had never met. While I was walking towards my new doctor and considering the facts and implications of this medical practitioner switcheroo, I noticed that she was quite pretty. She rose as I approached and instead of introducing herself as Doctor so and so, she simply said hello and her first name. I immediately liked her and concluded that she must be an outstanding doctor.
We discussed the results of the MRI on my knee. She informed me that I had a sprained knee and that while there is fluid, it is not worth removing now. I am satisfied with her explanation.
We then transitioned into a conversation about my blood test results. She went over each of the items in the blood test and kept telling me everything was good, which I found rather surprising considering how unhealthy I have lived for most of the last 15 years. This continued to be the case down the list; until she got to my cholesterol. She indicated it was quite high. She then expressed concern over my blood sugar level. She did not use the term, “pre-diabetic”, but my number (100) is at the bottom of what is considered pre-diabetic. So, she instructed me to return in 3 months to have a new blood test. If my cholesterol and blood sugar remain high, she may suggest I begin taking medication. I will not be taking any medication.
I believe my reaction to her somber news was incredibly incongruous and wonder if my feelings were visible on my face. Instead of being depressed or disappointed about the news, I was struggling to refrain from giggling out loud as I thought to myself, “This is so awesome!” The reason I believe my poor health is good news is because I am convinced my conditions are reversible, just as my age is. Even if I fail to reverse my biological age by lengthening my telomeres, I am certain I will be able to dramatically reduce my cholesterol and dramatically reduce my blood sugar level. I am further convinced just about anybody will be equally capable of duplicating my results. Instead of being able to merely talk about it theoretically in conversation, I’ll be walking, talking, living, breathing proof that these conditions are quickly reversible and I’ll have a ton of data to reinforce my proof.
I am, however, slightly concerned about returning to the doctor in three months for I am quite sure she will ask me, “What are you taking?” I’ll have no choice but to hand her a list of Vitamins, Minerals, and Supplements a mile long. The dosages will be staggering.
She will, no doubt, ask why I am taking all of these Vitamins and Supplements. I will reply, “Because I am reversing my age…”
I posted the results of my blood tests in data.
I will finally complete a draft of a data spreadsheet posted this weekend.
Circumstances have made me more excited than ever about my impending mission! I am eager to begin and remain confident than I will enjoy great success!